“Marriage is what brings us together today.” A classic line from a classic movie- The Princess Bride. Marriage is hard work but also can be very beautiful if you keep showing up.
In the book Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy author Karen Ehman takes a look at what it means to keep showing up in marriage. Today, I will share three things I learned from Keep Showing Up.
People are watching your marriage
“Your marriage is a message, and people are watching you preach.” -Karen Ehman
Did you know that people are watching your marriage? This thought really challenged me to make sure my husband Jonathan and I are representing Jesus well.
Marriage is the representative of the relationship between Jesus and the church. Do my kids see Jesus when they watch Jonathan and I? Does the waitress at the restaurant see Jesus as she watches us interact? My desire is to bring honor to Jesus.
You are different than your spouse
Another point I learned from Keep Showing Up is that I am different than my spouse. I knew this already but my eyes we opened to the beauty of differences.
Karen shared about a friend who challenged her to see that her marriage doesn’t need two Karens, but one Todd and one Karen. All too often, we try to mold our spouse to be like us.
Instead of celebrating the differences, we find ourselves thinking our spouse is wrong because he did something different than we are used to doing. Unfortunately, I am guilty of this.
I am thankful that Karen opened my eyes to this point. I want to celebrate Jonathan for who he is. I love how Karen ended the chapter with some practical tips on how to embrace your spouse for who he is. There are seven short sermons to preach to yourself.
Determine to see conflict as good
Say what?! Conflict is good? This thought seemed pretty crazy to me but also really challenging. Karen shared that we need to expect conflict. There will be trouble in our marriages but this isn’t a bad thing.
In fact, conflict helps our marriage to get stronger. As we work towards a resolution, we actually gain a greater understanding of one another.
Karen shares several guidelines to help prevent a fight from breaking out. I loved these because they are so practical. One of the ideas was to set a regular time each week to ask if either spouse is offended by anything.
Karen also shared for “fighting fair” rules of engagement that may help in your marriage. The one that stood out to me the most was “We will not assign a motive.” This reminded me of my need to believe the best about Jonathan.
Keep Showing Up
Do you want your marriage to be stronger? I highly recommend reading Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy! Which of the three things did I learn resonated with you the most today? This book will challenge you and help you to grow in your marriage. I think you would really like Keep Showing Up!
GIVEAWAY!
In fact, I am doing a giveaway. Yay! For your chance to win a copy of Keep Showing Up: How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy by Karen Ehman simply share why you’d love to read the book in the comments below. Please comment by Monday, March 4, at 11:59 pm. I will choose a winner on Tuesday, March 5. Thank you!
Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of this book. Love your take always
Instead of doing New Year’s Resolution s I decided to focus on one word. That one word for me is “Refresh”. I am focusing on refreshing myself, my relationship with God, and my marriage! I can’t imagine another way to help do this than reading this book!!
This book sounds like a whole lot of great reminders on how to love and appreciate my husband. I sure can use that! And I love Karen’s writing style, always easy to read and doesn’t bog me down, so I’m sure to finish it 🙂
This book sounds like it would challenge you to see things from a different perspective and strengthen your marriage as a result. I’m in!
This book sounds like it would be helpful to continue to grow in a marriage. I’m always on the lookout for new perspectives to challenge the way I view myself and my marriage.
We recently moved across the country and without family around, it’s been difficult to connect as a married couple as often as we would like. To be honest it’s been a difficult season. Working on our marriage is something I’m actively trying to do, and this book would be such a blessing in that endeavor.
Sounds like a great book! Would love to read her ideas/perspectives on conflict and celebrating our differences.
This would be a timely read for us! Always looking for practical tools to help our marriage be better!
Ooo I would love to learn from this book!!!❤️ Relationships are beautiful but challenging at times! Need all the wisdom from my married friends!????????
I would love to read this book. Being married super young, and lasting almost 20 years, I feel like people do watch our marriage. I would love to read more about this!
I would love to have this book to help me grow asa wife and to help our marriage grow, and to challenge me as a woman to be closer to God!
I would love a copy of this book because I have been married for 7 months and we have already had so many bumps in the road. One of those bumps was being diagnosed with cancer 2 months ago. It would be great to read a book to learn more!
Gabrielle-I am praying and believing for healing for you. Also praying for wisdom in this journey. Hugs and prayers!
Your posts about this book were all so encouraging to me, and I would love to read the whole thing!
after wanting a divorce , I finally agreed to counciling and WOW did we get a good one. Things changed so quick and it has been amazing. We still have 2 at home, but they go to older sibling a few weekends a month and we love our “Empty Nest Weekends” .One of our favorite things to do is go to our favorite books stores (Indy or Ft. Wayne)and browse the clearance section for good books. I love getting ahold of books that encourage me , tell me how to make it even better, how to listen , how to communicate.