Welcome, I'm Anastasia!
Daughter of the King of Kings, wife, mom, friend, and bookworm. I am so glad you are here! I hope you’ll stick around and enjoy reading these blog posts.
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Hope for Healing Hearts
I sat outside my shed that beautiful June morning to heal from the wounds in my past. God had asked me to take a week off to reflect on the wounds I had been trying to hide. It had become all too clear that stuffing them into the corners of my broken heart was not working. A new trial our family was going through that season had just bubbled them all up to the surface again.
Was I reliving the nightmare from my 20's? Were the bad choices I had made in my pain back to bite me?
Walking through a painful demotion had started the healing journey a few months back, but God was taking me deeper. I had attempted to keep these parts of my heart closed off even from God, for many years. But my heart was wide open now. It was time to face them head-on.
Breathing in scent from the ponderosa pine trees as they baked in the morning rays, I asked God what I should do. Gently, He revealed to my heart that I had believed something was wrong with me. For nearly all my life, I had believed I was created less desirable than others. I thought I had to work harder to be liked and loved.
These wrongful beliefs stemmed from the wounds I had experienced growing up. The taunts from the kids I faced on the playground haunted me. My failed first marriage and the pain that surrounded its circumstance often disturbed my peace.
God wanted me to face them to rid them. I reluctantly agreed.
One of the days, God had me revisit the most painful memory I have from my childhood. It was the day I started to believe I was what they taunted on the playground – “the fat girl.”
As my soul conceded, we cried together for the little girl who believed something was wrong with her. God shared with me how His heart was broken for her too and still is for the woman who has carried the lie around for thirty years. And there at the river, I let the tears and the sound of the rushing water take the lies away. I let God's love for the sweet child and the grown woman replace the lies with truth.
The hard truth is that we all experience painful moments that feed lies into who we believe we are. Experiences and thoughtless words have the power to shape what we believe about the world, ourselves, and who God is. They have the power to shape our identity. And until we allow God's love to heal these places, we carry them around in our hearts, where they influence our decisions.
But the good news is we can heal from them in the power of God's love and rebuild our identities on God's truth. When we face our pain and allow God to knock the lies down with His truth, we allow God to start the redeeming process. Healing and redemption are God's good plan for us and His ultimate pleasure. He is the one who can take our worst moments, heart fragments, and tears and put them all back together again far more beautifully than before.
Healing is a hard process that takes going backward and tearing down the protective walls we built. Frightening as it may be, our hearts need to be tended, not disregarded, to work properly again. The work is worth it. When we allow God to heal our past, He can set us on His glorious path for our future.
A big thank you to Micah Ruth for sharing on the blog today!