Learning to Enjoy Your Strong Willed Child

Do you ever feel like your child is deliberately trying to drive you crazy? Do you ever struggle knowing how to discipline and motivate your children? Me too. Which is why I read You Can’t Make Me by Cynthia Tobias.

This book is packed full of information on how to bring out the best in your strong-willed children. Today, I want to share with you three reasons why I think you would like You Can’t Make Me.

What is strong will?

First, this book will help you understand what a strong will is. Too often we see strong-willed kids as defiant, stubborn, and argumentative. But, as Cynthia pointed out that is not actually the definition of a strong will. Being defiant and stubborn are bad behaviors that result from a strong will used incorrectly. “Strong will, in and of itself, is a very positive trait” Once you understand what a strong will is, it is easier to celebrate your strong-willed child.

How SWC think

Secondly, in this book, Cynthia shared three crucial truths about how SWC children think. The first truth is “It’s not the authority we have trouble with; it’s how the authority is communicated.” Basically, if we use our authority in a way that suggests our kids have no choice, there will be trouble. This crucial truth has changed how I parent our children.

Thrive in relationship

And finally, Cynthia shared several strategies to help us thrive in our relationship with our strong-willed kids. The strategy that stood out the most was ‘Ask more questions, issue fewer orders.’ It was a simple concept but one that helped immensely. Asking questions helps your SWC know you are assuming the best of them.

Do you feel more hopeful about being a parent of a strong-willed child? I hope so! Even though some days may not feel like it, strong-willed children truly are a blessing. A strong will is not something to dread but to celebrate. When you begin to understand how strong-willed children think, it becomes easier to communicate with them. And finally, we can thrive in our relationship with our strong-willed child.

Joining you in the journey…

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