May 5, 2017

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What does your discipline communicate?

Discipline. Just hearing that word may frustrate you. It’s hard to discipline our kids. Each kid is different and there is a variety of ways to discipline. But, it’s something that must be done. At Hearts at Home, I attended a workshop called Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart. It was led by Jim and Lynne Jackson. Today, I will share some points from the workshop.

Grace and Truth

Jim and Lynne started by addressing the messages our children hear today. With our actions, they often hear “You’re not important, you’re a pain, etc.” Our children need to hear messages of grace and truth. Some of those messages are “Child, you are… set apart, loved, worthy, valuable, capable.”

You are safe

Jim and Lynne also shared about the four added messages that lead to discipline that connects. The first message is “You are safe with me.” Kids learn best when they feel safe. Some ways we can ensure our kids feel safe include using a calm, low voice. Also, getting down to their level and listening is important.

You are loved

Secondly, our kids need to know they are loved no matter what. Jim and Lynne commented that “Misbehavior is the golden opportunity for true unconditional love.” Our love for our kids should never be performance based. Basically, we need to love our kids as God loves us.

You are capable and called

The third message our kids need to hear is that they are capable and called. As parents, we need to draw out their strengths. Even in their misbehavior, Jim and Lynne encouraged us to find and build our children’s strengths.

You are responsible

The last message that leads to discipline that connects is that our kids are responsible for their actions. “Effective discipline puts the responsibility on the child to right their wrongs.” Jim and Lynne shared that when a child misbehaves, look at the natural impact of the misbehavior. What action would make it right? And if necessary, what related loss of privilege could guide a child to make it right?

This workshop was so helpful for me! I look forward to picking up Jim and Lynne’s book called Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart. I encourage you to check it out! They also have great free resources on their website,

Remember, your discipline can be effective. When you make it a priority to connect with your kids, they will know the messages of grace and truth. Your kids need to feel safe with you and know they are loved no matter what. As you continue to pour into your kids, they will believe the truth that they are capable and called. In addition, you can help your kids thrive by taking responsibility for their actions. Parenting with discipline that connects is a journey but one well worth going on.




(Note: The links in this post are affiliate links. This means that I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support of this site.)


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